(All Quiet on the) Preston Front

Despite the fact that Lloydy is staying with him, Hodge's mood has brightened because he is being allowed to take Kirtsy out for the day by himself - for the first time. However, this relies on him passing his driving test, which he is having to take in the noodle van...

Mr Wang's expectations of success for the Roman Holiday are dashed when he learns of the opening of a rival Chinese Restaurant. Eric convinces him to fight back, although it soon appears that this is not a sensible course of action. Meanwhile, Dawn has decided that she no longer wants to be a teacher.

Lloydy has finally moved out of Hodge's caravan, although Dawn and Eric are not exactly pleased when they find out that he has bought the flat below theirs. Hodge now has his freedom and enjoys a drunken night with Mel, who he meets at the drill hall. However, he is in for trouble when he finds out who she is related to...

Spock aims to help a disinterested pupil achieve something with his life, fearing that he may grow up to be another Lloydy. Meanwhile, Lloydy himself has bought a talking car and Mr Wang has a plan to improve the fortunes of his restaurant - but it involves Diesel pretending to be The Artist Formerly Known As Prince...

The members of 2 Section are acting as waiters at a formal mess dinner being organised by Polson. Ally is attending, but is getting drunk since she has found out that her husband has been having an affair with his ex-wife. An after dinner game of melon rugby allows a few scores to be settled, but behind the scenes trouble is brewing between Hodge and Eric.

Hodge plans to spend a quiet weekend in a cottage with Kirsty. When Eric finds out that Dawn was staying as well he is consumed by jealousy and immediately goes over. He finds that Hodge has already been interrupted by Diesel, Lloydy, Mel - and a recently liberated ostrich...