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Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series and four episodes out of six of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by Vince Powell and John Kane. It starred Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden as rival antique dealers, and also starred Derek Deadman, Zara Nutley, Robin Kermode, Tacy Kneale, Julia Watson, Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner and Maria Charles. The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem; The Ballad of East and West.
Seasons
Episode 1
Viva Espana!
Ringo wins a holiday in a competition and they all go to Spain.
Episode 2
The Best Laid Plans
It is the 10th anniversary of the two antique dealers being in business; they decide to go out to have a meal and visit the theatre. But they encounter some difficulties.
Episode 3
Born Again
Simon is searching for the meaning of life and thinks he has found it after listening to a preacher in the park. Oliver, however, sees a business opportunity.
Episode 4
There Goes the Bride
Aunt Eleanor decides to get married after a whirlwind romance.
Episode 5
Two Fools and Their Money
Both Simon and Oliver are in financial difficulties and decide to approach their bank manager.
Episode 6Latest episode
The First of the Queue
Oliver tells Simon about a bargain in a shop, which leads to extraordinary efforts by the two to be first in the queue to buy it. Guest starring Diana Mahoney, real-life wife of Donald Sinden.
